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Thursday, April 19th, 2007
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Whenever I try to be funny it kills your mom. I do it often. Your mom is dead. I laff. laffing at yoo. Kittens heads lop off nicely. using a sharpened stick. racicst comments mkae yoo cringe. typos made with the graetest precision. date rape. [clown hat curly hair smileyface]
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Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
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I want a pocket full of horses.
Ill fuck the shit out of bears.
But Im not Washington.
I am a pokemon.
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I can see what you have done.
And I dont care to.
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Monday, October 24th, 2005
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| Time: | 6:05 am. |
| Music: | talk about Classic rock!. |
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Holy cow...
Some people on this thing be talking some hella nonesense and such.
Like damn.
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Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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| Time: | 11:25 pm. |
| Mood: | charlie murphy. | | Music: | I am X - Kiss + Swallow. |
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Its fat. Like a leathery poodle.
Im pretending. anything thats real, its not anymore. Because its pretend. Im making a fort from couch cusions.
"No Girls allowed."
Yes, Maybe that makes me gay. Maybe it just makes me omnipotential. A dead rodent swirling in the toilet. and also; you cant feel the rodent. maybe you cant see the rodent, plus; its not there.
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Are you reading this? You ever wonder... what am I doing? I wonder what I am doing quite often. Like when I wake up naked standing in front of the 7-11 with a chocolate flavored slurpee in my hand and a wicked ice cream headache.
Did you just read that? After I wrote it I read over, back to myself in my head. Nothing meaningfull came to mind. What are you thinking? What are you doing? Want a chocolate flavored slurpee? It has no gooey surprises inside, I swear!
Something I miss, something I like. Something new, and something blue. Something borrowed something dead. Something living some kind of bread. do you get this? Are YOU understanding me? I hope so, but I doubt it.
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When bunnies fuck they scream.
When I fuck bunnies.. they die.
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DO you know what kinda shit REALLY stings?
Bees. That and dogs. dogswithbeesintheirmouthsandwhentheybarktheyshootbeesatyou.
And bees. Like drones to the hive, off we go to work, obey, and trust, and then go home. lather/wash/rinse/repeat. daily, hourly, minutly, in just a second. cont them 1...2... point 2.
Here, how about this:
1. go outside.
2. Find an automatic sprinkler head.
3. place mouth firmly o'er top of it, teeth clenched.
4. wait.
When the sprinker goes off you will receive untimly reclaimed watery death. Death by sulfer flavored gum. Eat it up, like its tacos.
ill end this sentence with a period. <---see, there it is <---but not there. <---another one!
I made a barcode that scans "I will kill you" at work. It was the most constructive thing I did with my day.
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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spacemeat has a case of orangecock. from eating cheetos and watching gay zombie clown porn! we launched a monkey into space for the puoposes of harvesting his organs for burgers. space meat! however not having access to that technonlogy we made ours out of paper towels. his name is jesse the cowdog. like a cowboy only with floppy ears. and a "lipstick" on his belly.
I will fuck your dog in the dry leather eye and tell your mom its you!
teh intarweb is full of netizens? fuck them. Unzombies are on the intarweb. I just gotta swear like fuckshithelldamnbithchcunt!
Nonesense. Hi mom.
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Monday, January 31st, 2005
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The world needs that.
To what Im referring is a mystery to you. so your fucked!
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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| Time: | 2:20 am. |
| Music: | asian nude orchestra rehersals. |
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A new era of hate.
welcome. Luke, I fucked your father in the shower and then had a snack.
"I resolve to hit people with chairs."
Resolutions:
1. Fuck you debbie
2.
3. plant
4. chevrolet
5. sitting in a coffee shop admiring the size of your shoes. Scalding coffee in my lap, a kite tangled in my hair.
frickin IDIOT!
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Thursday, November 25th, 2004
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Imma grab a turkey... and Imma fucken strangle it! Wring its neck, till it passes the fuck out... then cook it at 600 degrees alive.
Im gonna kill a bunch of cranberries too, and some noodles. Cinnimon covered dead-ass noodles. Noodles raped your mom. ahhh, warm thanks-giving memories of possessed noodles and a zombie turkey eating little billy's brains and having a cup of juice...
Welcome home for the holidays clown. come back soon after the wounds seal up.
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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
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"John Kerry's real name is Jonk Erry"
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Monday, October 4th, 2004
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Un-zombies work in offices.
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Friday, October 1st, 2004
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well its that time of the month...
Thats right, My ass is bleeding and theres nothing I can do about it. put a cork in it, scoot it across the rug, wave it in your face. nothing seems to help.
Driving across the country in a car that hardly works seems viable. Sell the children, eat the pets and go. Off over the horizon. Misusing the cellphone for payporn and psychic readings. Making it a point to do everything that would warrant the comment "That is very dumb of you", and in turn the answer: "thanks, I did it on your behalf."
Quelling the hunger for human flesh I go next door and toss the neighbors on the barbie. Sauce and corn and white rice make this meal special. But who next? Its a beautiful day in my neighborhood... wont you be my dinner.
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So GWB got his ass handed to him on a rusty platter by J.Kerry.
I think this bodes well with me. And it was hilarious.
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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Carpe Carp
(seize the fish)
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to G00gle image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
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Saturday, September 25th, 2004
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im bored.... and loneley.
The internet has nothing to offer me. god please send me some midget clowns.
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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88jjjjjjjjjjjjjr
(Then he peed on the "D" & "F")
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